Secondly, I would like here to argue we should not dissociate old relations to make new ones. Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) said, “No woman should ask for the divorce of her sister (Muslim) so as to take her place, but she should marry the man (without compelling him to divorce his other wife), for she will have nothing but what Allah has written for her.” Sahih Bukhari 6601.
WOMEN, YOUTH, CULTURE AND SOCIETAL PROBLEMS: AN INSIGHTFUL ANALYSIS
Keywords: Women, Youth, Society, Culture, Societal Problems, Women in Pakistan, Women in World, Rights of Women, Women Day, Women in Islam
Yesterday, I listened a lecture from a motivational speaker and the man was instructing parents to be conscious about marrying their daughters after their intermediate as allowing females for higher education and delaying their marriages create problems later. I was confused the same person, once, was discussing about the journey of his three nephews becoming doctor.
Today, my aunt told me a story of one boy that was very famous for his good character and moral values in her relatives. His story is that seven years before he married with the friend of his sister and the girl was also well known for her good moral and character. Also, the girl was very beautiful and young. Now, after seven years of marriage, the girl went to her parents’ home to attend a function. And in her absence, her mother in law married her husband with some divorced woman without informing her making the excuse of not having children. Now, families of that wonderful couple, married seven years before, have a clash.
I was so confused and tense while thinking every person has issues in his life. A girl married at early age is not happy. A girl studied a lot and is unmarried, also unhappy. Then what’s the problem with our society and culture? What is the root of our cultural problems?
After pondering a lot on this, I considered few points as roots of our many problems. Firstly, we as a society lack in fear of Allah. Second marriage is not an issue when Allah has allowed this. Issue is forgetting Allah Subhanao Tallah. Whenever I come to know the issues regarding women of our society, I always remember Prophet’s (PBUH) last sermon frightening people as, “O people, it is true that you have certain rights with regard to your women, but they also have rights over you. Remember that you have taken them as your wives only under Allah’s trust and with His permission. If they abide by your right, then to them belongs the right to be fed and clothed in kindness. Do treat your women well and be kind to them for they are your partners and committed helpers. And it is your right that they do not make friends with any one of whom you do not approve, as well as never to be unchaste”.
Secondly, I would like here to argue we should not dissociate old relations to make new ones. Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) said, “No woman should ask for the divorce of her sister (Muslim) so as to take her place, but she should marry the man (without compelling him to divorce his other wife), for she will have nothing but what Allah has written for her.” Sahih Bukhari 6601. We need to learn art of keeping relations. How we can keep all of our relations happy and satisfied while fulfilling our needs too. I, myself, know many stories in which men have multiple marriages and they are keeping all his wives happy and satisfied.
Also, parents especially mother has a great role in shaping a person’s marital life from both sides i.e, boy’s mother as well as girl’s mother. I would declare my third point, the most important point of my discussion. I believe that in our society, hierarchy is distributed. Hierarchy disturbed in which sense? I think that a husband needs an unconditional respect from his wife and a wife needs an unconditional love from her husband. Elders want unconditional and permanent respect from youngers at the same time they are responsible for giving unconditional and continuous courtesy to youngers. I remember once, I have listened from a reckoned scholar that “Gentleness in a home is responsible for creating easiness in a house” and one thing that we used to study in our childhood in text books “Respect your elders and love your youngers” was very precious as a building block of peaceful Society. I have observed that, in our society, this hierarchy has been disturbed. To be very honest, I have seen elders comparing themselves with youngers and even creating problems in the smoothness of their lives. As a result of which youngers start neglecting elders and find it better to compromise with their respects. So, to resolve our societal issues, we need to revive our hierarchy.
Lastly, I have found one thing deeply inculcated in our society i.e, Negative assumptions about someone. “Indeed some assumptions is sin” Al Quran 49:12. In many issues of “Severing the bond of kingship”, we can observe “negative assumptions” as a root cause.
It is very heartbreaking to say that our society especially sub-continent part is involved in very sinful acts due to these and many other habits. Moreover, in a struggle to resolve their issues, youth of our society is very confused due to mixing of culture and religion and their lacked understanding in both.
May Allah be courteous on our society and grant us with fear of Allah and knowledge of Islam so that we may eradicate these evils of our society from its roots. Aameen.